Been fighting something the last few days. Just recently wondered if it was mono. I thought it was my normal coughing fits I usually get this time of year but I've been sleeping a ton lately and I am exhausted when I am awake. Also dealing with hot and cold flashes, I'm either one extreme or the other. Blah :(

Been playing World of Warcraft a lot lately. Having fun in the GLBT guild on my druid. I wish I could play on my paladin but I played her before I came out about being trans online and I know that if I do come out to all the friends I made with her then all the group fun will be gone. Just playing her in an trans unfriendly place around people that would dump me the moment they knew the real me just doesn't motivate me much to play on her.

Current Mood: tired

Well I tried my first tofu hot dog today and I didn't much care for it. Microwaved it so that might be it. Going to boil one next time and give it a try. There is the potential for me to like it, I didn't gag outright or anything :P Maybe it is the brand or maybe I am just trying to find problems with it. I don't know.

I have gained 26+ pounds lately due to multiple reasons and its bugging the shit out of me. All the diet food I was eating either got discontinued or out of stock lately and it has really killed my weight. Blah.

I got back into Warcraft because I wanted to heal. Joined the big GLBT guild and got a druid to level 36 and now I am struggling with why I even care. It is just constant grind and then the stress of healing on top of it. I have so many games on my to do list that I need to get through as well.

My transition is on hold for the moment because we have no spending money at all. There is stuff in motion that could get me something though and hopefully it works out.

If anyone missed it the first time my new song is located here http://www.crackerboxpalace.com/DivineHealing.zip
I would really like some feedback on it sometime.

That is basically my month wrapped in a nutshell. Joy. :V

Current Mood: tired

So I finally got back into making songs. :D

My first one is coming along pretty well so far :V It is a Zelda inspired arrangement. If anyone wants it when I finish they are welcome to it. :)

I'll update everyone on the progress for it :)

Current Mood: :V
Current Music: My song... over... and over... and over again...

Well I have been struggling with the idea for awhile now but I think it is about time I try and go full out with it. I am going to try and be a Vegetarian. I'm just sick of the whole meat thing and feeling like something had to die so I could eat.

This will be difficult to pull off since basically everything I eat is meat. Not to mention having wacked out taste buds that has made trying new stuff difficult. I also hate cooking :V When I am hungry I want food NOW not 30-40 minutes after cooking it so I'll need to change or find good quick Vegetarian meals. I'll be slowing trying to find new things to eat and getting the meat out of my diet.

Go me. :V

Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: Carlos - The Silmarillia

Holy crap. I finally got Team Fortress 2 and I had forgotten how fun online FPS team games are. Best game purchase in years :V The fact that I got four amazing single player FPS games included helps.

I was originally kind of weary about getting it because I didn't want to deal with the community and it's bigoted/sexist behavior but then I just finally slapped myself and realized I didn't HAVE to have an extremely female ingame profile. I went gender neutral and turned off voice chat and it is a blast :)

Current Mood: happy

Hormones = denied.

Megan = Not surprised.

Touche Life.


*sigh*

Current Mood: tired

Going in to see my hormone therapist tomorrow. Due to a mix up with the fax I won't be getting the hormones for a few days so blah to that. This will be the first time using my female voice with someone in person so that should be odd and interesting.

My Anxiety Anxiety is kicking up already. Should be fine once I am actually talking with her though.

She sent me a little thing to fill out with a "In the last year, have you had..." section and I almost want to put a check under pregnancies just for fun. :V The face she would give me after seeing it would be priceless. :V

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Dope - Crazy

My brain is now bombarding me with happy fun touchy-feely songs. I think it is sick of my depressed emo bullshit :V

In yet again other news the blood work was canceled due to a mess up with the fax machine number. Thanks mom for having shitty handwriting :V

Current Mood: quixotic

Robert Jordan is dead. My favorite writer. I have all eleven Wheel of Time books in hardcover and I have read them all three times now.

Excuse me while I turn this into all about me (it is what I do best :V)

This is reminding me a lot of my childhood. Back when I felt that everything I touch is destroyed. Everything I love is killed.

Having my biological family broken up because of me, a long line of dead pets, my father dead. Growing up just feeling like they were all my fault. Even to this day it still effects me, I don't tell someone I love them unless I absolutely mean it. The word became this serious thing that I didn't just hand out to anyone. Fear that it ruins things and hurts people.

Growing up I always knew Robert Jordan was going to die right before the series ended.... because I loved it.

I have since grown up and gotten over such thoughts, it is just hard not remembering them right now.


In other news going in for the blood work today. One week till hormones.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Final Fantasy VII - Listen to the Cries of the Planet

So I helped someone move yesterday in desert heat. My body hurts everywhere....

Made like $70 out of it at least.

The blood work stuff is being faxed out today and then I will be going in for it sometime in the next 7 days. Still doesn't seem real that it is happening.

I have been falling asleep at like 6pm for the last four nights it seems. Better then 6am but a little TOO early for me. Sorry Van, I know you must really miss my bitching. :V

I have really wanted to play a MMORPG as a healer lately. I want to be a healer in a group setting and I have no money and hate all the good MMORPGs.... :V Also I hate the stress of healing pick up groups full of idiots... *sigh* Why must I desire such things?

I need to force myself to get moving in Xenosaga. It is just so hard to pick up and play with the cutscenes every 2 minutes. That is something you need to like plan in advance to play.

Blah.

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: The Cynic Project - Another World